I had morning sickness all day, but still battled along in my job. At 16wks I had severe bleeding and was taken to hospital. Being a country hospital I had to wait around an hour or so for the Dr to arrive. When he arrived he had a feel of my tummy and told me I was miscarrying. I was heartbroken. I was only kept in overnight, they were all 99% sure I was going to lose my little bub. I saw my Dr the following day, but had to wait a week for an ultrasound to find out if my little bub had survived. It was the worst week of my life. I had already taken leave from my job, not wanting to risk anything. When they did the ultrasound I saw my little bub, he was ok! I had bled from between the placenta and uterus (sub-chronic haematoma), but it appeared to still be intact and healthy. I was on bed rest from then on. At around 20 wks my fiancé got another job about 4-5 hrs away, we were staying at his Nana’s.

In Jan 07 we moved to a very small town, Marvel Loch a farming/mining town approximately 30 kms south of Southern Cross WA. I spent half my time there and the other half I stayed with my mum, not wanting to disrupt the pregnancy; I was determined to carry my baby. I was having ultrasounds every 1-2 weeks to make sure everything was going ok. At 24-25 wks I had finally stopped passing blood. I thought I was safe.

At 28wks my waters broke (PPROM, Preterm- PreLabour Rupture of Membranes) there was no warning. I felt ok, but starting feeling sick inside, it was way too early! My mum lives out of town and rang my hospital, they told me to go straight to King Edward Memorial Hospital. My mum drove me the 2 hrs into Perth. The next few hours were a blur, I had drips and blood tests and strapped to the ECG. At around 11:30 pm I was admitted onto the ward. I was given steroids and other drugs to stop my labour. I didn’t really sleep much that night. My mum had slept in her car as she couldn’t get a room for the night. I had an ultrasound the following day, showing a small 1108 grams. The ultrasound also showed the haematoma which had grown and was probably the cause of my waters breaking.

The next few days passed slowly, my mum was always there she didn’t go home for anything. The nurses showed me the NICU, which was scary seeing all the tiny babies. The nurse pointed out, through the window, a baby that had been born at 28 wks. I felt a little bit more prepared for what was going to happen. For the next week and a bit I had seen the inside of the labour ward 3 times with false alarms. On the 24th of Feb I woke up with contractions happening around every 3-4 mins once again it was a trip down to the labour ward. It was going to be a long day.

The contractions kept coming all day, I was determined to do it without any pain relief, but 14 hours of contractions which were now every 1-2mins I was exhausted. I tried having a shower for pain relief but I couldn’t stay in there. I opted for some morphine to try and get some rest in. The morphine didn’t last very long, maybe an hour or so and now the contractions were coming every 30sec-1min. Still determined to have as very little drugs as possible I soldiered on. The pain was starting to get to me, I hadn’t slept very well the entire time I was in the hospital (2 weeks) even with the sleeping tablets as they woke me every four hours for obs. I had another shot of morphine around 10pm. I had several internals over the course of labour, but was not progressing very well at all. By 2am I couldn’t take it any more, I was feeling very weak, exhausted and the pain was getting to me. I opted for an epidural while they discussed a caesarean section, if I was to have a caesarean I wanted to be awake for it. They started to prep me and the theatre were put on notice. The epidural went in at about 2:45am and then they checked me to discover that it was too late for a caesarean, bub had moved right down and was about to crown. They also discovered I had Chorioamnionitis (An infection of the Uterus Lining) and my bub also had an infection.

Once he started to crown it was over with just 2 pushes. My small bundle entered into the world at 3:15am on Sunday, 25th February 2007 weighing just 1545gms. And so his fight to live began.

The first 5-10 mins after birth were the scariest of my life. I saw him be born and watched as the cord was unwrapped from around his neck and then be cut, I then watched as a neonatologist and NICU nurse resuscitated my son.  He was born with an extremely low heartbeat and he wasn’t breathing. The whole room was silent as they were counting compressions to get his heart beating, Brendan was given a shot of adrenaline to help. He was ventilated, then stabilised. 15 mins after birth I was shown my son. He was wrapped in bubble wrap and blankets, I was so relieved that I finally met him and he was alive, although not breathing himself… he was alive. He was then whisked away and taken to the NICU.

Day 1, after having a nap, I am wheeled down to the NICU and wheeled up to a plastic box (humidicrib), by this time Brendan is 8-9 hours old. Inside the box is a scrawny pink thing, hooked up to wires and machines, there’s beeping everywhere and I can’t see much of what is my baby. I am crying, not knowing what to think and just wanting to cuddle him. I could only stay for a few mins before becoming overwhelmed.

The first few days after Brendan’s birth was a blur, I had to come to terms with the fact that my little boy was going to be here a while. I also had to learn how to express my milk and live away from all my friends and family. I stayed in accommodation next to the hospital, as I lived 4-5hrs away. The accommodation was basic, the room was no bigger than the average bathroom, containing a bed, desk and a built in cupboard. We shared a kitchen and a bathroom/toilet. I tried to make it has “homely” as possible, but there wasn’t much point, I only slept there. I ate most of my meals in the parent lounge in the SCN and spent all my time next to Brendan’s humidicrib. I remember coming in on day 3 to visit Brendan only to find he had gone, his humidicrib wasn’t there any more. I was devastated, what had happened whilst I was asleep? Had he died, what had happened, where is he?. thousands of questions are buzzing through my head, I finally get noticed by a nurse. But she can’t find my baby either, the floodgates open, she was asking other nurses and no-one knew what was going on. Had they lost my baby, and how?? I was told to go and ask the co-ordinator of SCN2, there I was pointed in the direction of my little boy. He had improved and been moved to the next level of care. A huge relief!

It seemed Brendan was doing really well, being in the SCN level 2 I was able to stay with him longer, change nappies and start being somewhat, a mum. I was so happy that my little boy was doing so well. On day 5 I did my first nappy change! On day 6 was my very first cuddle. I thought that we had seen the last of the NICU. This was to change and quickly, on day 9 Brendan contracted two infections and was back onto another round of anti-biotics. Day 10 early morning, I receive a phone call from the co-ordinator of SCN2. Brendan had “given up” he’d stopped breathing and had to be resuscitated and was back in the NICU. I think this was the quickest trip I ever did from being asleep in my room and getting into the NICU. He was on CPAP again. I was devastated, he had been doing so well, progressing nicely and then we were back to square 1.

After a little over a day in NICU (SCN level 3) Brendan was moved in level 3B. I was overjoyed that he was better and off of the CPAP. I was even happier that after less than 12 hrs in 3B he was moved into SCN level 2A. Hurray! I was so happy that Brendan was back in 2A, I began to feel a little more like his mum, rather than just a milk machine. The nurses were nicer and I was able to cuddle Brendan more often, sometimes once a day!!!

I wasn’t as stressed any more, knowing that Brendan was doing well I was able to sleep a little better at night. On day 16 Brendan was moved into SCN level 2B, WOOHOO! Although this move was good, as Brendan was doing so well. It was very hard on me, I sat and watched as babies came and went. Some babies only spending 4-5 hours in the SCN, it is very good for them, but hard for me as we’d been there nearly 3 weeks and still had quite a journey to go. On day 18, Brendan had been holding his temperature well for a few days now and was transferred to an open perspex cot! I was delighted. I even spent the night of day 20 away from the hospital, my fiancé came down for a visit and took me to his parents. I didn’t sleep well that night though, I was upset and depressed. It is so hard to walk away and leave my son in the SCN, and even harder to spend the night away from him. I cuddled him before leaving.

When I returned on day 21, Brendan had been moved to an extended section of SCN 2b, Satellite Nursery. I arrived there to be told that only 30mins prior to me arriving they had to bag (get him breathing again) Brendan. I was a complete mess, I had only spent one night away from him and I almost lost him. Within minutes of me arriving Brendan was being moved back down stairs to SCN 2b. Once I got my cot space down there, I immediately cuddled him. I noticed that his little shirt seemed a bit tight so I undid the button to find that he had a very red ring around his neck. After speaking to the nurse looking after him, we both came to the conclusion that the shirt had put too much pressure on Brendan’s neck and airways. From then on I was in control of dressing him. I went down to Target with my mum and we bought some more 5×0 outfits for him to be dressed in. On day 22 Brendan got his first bath. Before his bath we got his hand and foot prints done. I was delighted as I watched the nurse from the SCN give my little bundle a bath.

Day 23, It’s been just over 3 weeks since Brendan was born and I have been away from home for 6 weeks. I was upset and depressed, I missed my fiancé terribly even though he visited every weekend. I was depressed and really upset. I went home to Marvel Loch for a few days. It was extremely hard the first day and I rang the hospital whenever I felt uneasy. While at home I got my nursery a little more set up. After a few days of being at home, I headed back to the hospital. I was more relaxed and very happy to be back with Brendan. The next few days were easier, I was happier and felt better in myself. On day 28 I gave Brendan a bath. Day 29 Brendan was moved back up to the satellite nursery. I was relieved and glad to be going up there. Brendan was 1 of only 2-3 babies being monitored. It was much quieter here and far more relaxed too. Brendan still made music with his monitor and I was edgy every time his monitor would go off.

Day 38 is an excellent day for me. Brendan’s Nasal-Gastric tube is removed!!! Brendan is now on all suck feeds. The next few days were frustrating. Brendan was on all suck feeds and was gaining weight, but we weren’t allowed to go home as he was still on the monitor and still de-saturating. I knew that he was so close to going home and I kept getting excited every time the Drs came round. Excited and then deflated as the days were still passing and Brendan was still monitored. On the afternoon of day 40 one of the Drs came around and was looking at Brendan’s chart, she asked to get the monitor taken off! Brendan still had to stay for at least another 24 hrs to make sure that he would be ok. I was so excited, we are so close to going home!! Morning of day 42, the Dr did his rounds and did the discharge check for Brendan. Brendan passed and we were able to go home! Brendan was 5 weeks 6 days old and weighed 2090gms when he was discharged, my fiancé picked us up from the hospital just before midday. I finally had my baby and was heading home.

Visit Sally’s blog about her boys and life after the NICU

Go back to read further birth stories

Parent’s Name(s): Michael & Amy
Baby’s Name(s): Jacob Connor
Date of Birth: 18/09/2009
Date of Death: 18/09/2009
Baby’s Sex(s): Male
Baby’s Gestation(s): 16 weeks
Special Message: They say time heals all wounds obviously they never had a wound like the loss of a child. We love you little man & think of you daily.

“We said hello at the same time that we said goodbye”

Love Mummy, Daddy, Declan, Abbie & Livvy

____________________________________

Parent’s Name(s): Scott & Kellie
Baby’s Name(s): Maddison Maree
Date of Birth: 04/11/2009
Date of Death: 10/12/2009
Baby’s Sex(s): Female
Baby’s Gestation(s): Born 25wks & passed at 30wks
Special Message: The worst thing we have ever had to go through was the loss of our beautiful little girl. We miss you Maddie, you will forever be remembered. Love, Daddy, Mummy & Jacob

____________________________________

Parent’s Name(s): Steven and Allison
Baby’s Name(s): Jaxon Thomas
Date of Birth: 22/08/2007
Date of Death: 29/08/2007
Baby’s Sex(s): Male
Baby’s Gestation(s): 38wks
Special Message: Even though you were only with us for a short time, we treasure the moments we spent with you. You now have a little sister and I hope you are looking down and guiding her just like you are guiding your big sister and brother.

You are forever in our hearts and soul xoxoxo

____________________________________

Parent’s Name(s): Jacki & Andre
Baby’s Name(s): Tai Jackson & Levi Joseph
Date of Birth: 18/02/09
Date of Death: 18/02/09
Baby’s Sex(s): Boys
Baby’s Gestation(s): 22wks 5days
Special Message: Our beautiful boys we love & miss you both more & more each day. Forever in our hearts love mum, dad, Brandon & Jordan xxxx

____________________________________

Parent’s Name(s): Brooke & Raymond
Baby’s Name(s): Mia (Twin sister to Bella)
Date of Birth: 27/11/2006
Date of Death: 27/11/2006
Baby’s Sex(s): Female
Baby’s Gestation(s): 26 weeks
Special Message: Our precious little Angel Mia,

As the years go on the pain of losing you remains the same. We think of you everyday and you will always live on in our hearts forever. We love you so much sweetheart. Until we are all together again baby girl…
Love Always
Mummy, Daddy, Bella and Jett
xxx xxx xxx xxx
____________________________________

Parent’s Name(s): Rebekah & Tony
Baby’s Name(s): Kyron Keith Hall
Date of Birth: 18-07-2007
Date of Death: 19-07-2007
Baby’s Sex(s): Male
Baby’s Gestation(s): 26weeks & 5days
Special Message: -

____________________________________

Parent’s Name(s): Cass & Rob
Baby’s Name(s): Kobi William
Date of Birth: 1st Feb 2011
Date of Death: 1st Feb 2011
Baby’s Sex(s): Male
Baby’s Gestation(s): 25 weeks + 1 day
Special Message: Our little boy came way too soon and fought so hard to be with us, you were such a brave little boy and we thank god for each hour we got with you.

Mummy, Daddy and your brothers and sisters love you so much. R.I.P our little man.

____________________________________

Parent’s Name(s): Dean and Tara
Baby’s Name(s): Oscar Andrew Gibson
Date of Birth: 19/09/2010
Date of Death: 19/09/2010
Baby’s Sex(s): Male
Baby’s Gestation(s): 21 Weeks 6 Days
Special Message: Our beautiful Twinkle toes, you fought to the end lil man. Play nicely with your lil cousin livvy xxx

____________________________________

Parent’s Name(s): Kim and Chris
Baby’s Name(s): Aiden Robert
Date of Birth: 25/01/2005
Date of Death: 25/01/2005
Baby’s Sex(s): Male
Baby’s Gestation(s): 23+4 weeks
Special Message: Our firstborn angel, love you and miss you forever.

____________________________________

Parent’s Name(s): Stacey and Robert
Baby’s Name(s): Alfie David
Date of Birth: 13/10/10
Date of Death: 15/11/10
Baby’s Sex(s): Male
Baby’s Gestation(s): 26 weeks
Special Message: To a brave little boy who will never be forgotten. Love you so so much little man Mummy, Daddy, William, Charlie and Ruby xxxx

_________________________________

Parent’s Name(s): Shi-anne& Andrew
Baby’s Name(s): Alexandra Charlotte
Date of Birth: 30/5/2011
Date of Death: 30/5/2011
Baby’s Sex(s): Female
Baby’s Gestation(s): 25+3 weeks
Special Message: To our beautiful baby girl mummy and daddy can not express how much we love you and were sad to have to leave you. We will miss you more than anything
Love mummy, daddy and William

_________________________________

Parent’s Name(s): Kristy and Scott
Baby’s Name(s): Hope Louise
Date of Birth: 2/12/2005
Date of Death: 2/12/2005
Baby’s Sex(s): Female
Baby’s Gestation(s): 21wks
Special Message: You came way too early and lived for an hour. You were a fighter when you were born and you fought until you passed. You now have a little brother that would only be 7mths younger then you. I know that you were there when he was born because he needed an angel and you were that angel that helped both of us through 12wks in hospital.

Will always be in my heart and i will always love you.

_________________________________

Parent’s Name(s): Darren and Sam
Baby’s Name(s): Jie Darren Becskes
Date of Birth: 11/3/2011
Date of Death: 11/3/2011
Baby’s Sex(s): Male
Baby’s Gestation(s): 21 weeks and 5 days
Special Message: No a day goes past that we dont think of you. We will always keep your memory alive, you will live on in our hearts forever little man. Untill we meet again… Goodnight sweetheart!

Love Mummy, Daddy and you big sister Mia xoxo

_____________________________________

Parent’s Name(s): Bobby-Lea
Baby’s Name(s): Jordan
Date of Birth: 8th February 2009
Date of Death: 8th February 2009
Baby’s Sex(s): Male
Baby’s Gestation(s): 27 Weeks
Special Message: Your so wonderful to think of, but so hard to be without. I love u son.

_____________________________________

Parent’s Name(s): Stewart and Natasha
Baby’s Name(s): Savanah
Date of Birth: 22nd May 2010
Date of Death: 22nd May 2010
Baby’s Sex(s): Female
Baby’s Gestation(s): 22 weeks
Special Message: To my baby girl who we all love and miss every day you will never be forgotten. Mummy, Daddy, Taneka, Ethan, Zander, Trey and now little Quinton. We love you baby.

_____________________________________

Parent’s Name(s): Jo & Tony
Baby’s Name(s): Isabella Suzanne
Date of Birth: 10th May 2009
Date of Death: 10th May 2009
Baby’s Sex(s): Female
Baby’s Gestation(s): 20 weeks
Special Message: We tried so long for you and you were such a miracle. A day never passes without you in our thoughts. Your baby sister Hope was our second miracle and I know you were there watching over her when I delivered her at 27 weeks gestation. You have watched over her ever since. In our hearts forever Mum & Dad.

_____________________________________

Parent’s Name(s): Sasha Kautai-Winkleman & Kaylib Hura-Winiata
Baby’s Name(s): Shilo Clara Merata Gear-Wood
Date of Birth: 29.05.2011
Date of Death: 15.08.2011
Baby’s Sex(s): Female
Baby’s Gestation(s): 30wks
Special Message: From the time we all found out mummy was pregnant we fell in love with you. First time we saw you on the scan we were excited. To hear you arrived early was hard, as mummy and I are first time parents and it was scary but more happier. The 8wks we spent in hospital was worth every minute and moment watching you gain weigh come of the tubes out of the incubator and finally in our room to head home. When mummy and I were allowed to head home with you we couldn’t wait to start out life as a family with you our darling daughter. The morning you passed was the hardest. We just couldn’t believe our beautiful little princess has left us with so much love and also sadness. Would never forget that dreadful day as you sent snowflakes and four seasons which was magical. To our darling precious daughter SHILO you lite up our lives, our hearts and most of all left us with alot of memories to carry you within us. Like you Nanny always said love you to the moon and back. Sweet Dreams Our Beautiful Angel R.I.P OUR DARLING DAUGHTER SHILO CLARA MERATA GEAR-WOOD
_____________________________________

Parent’s Name(s): Kimberly and Darren
Baby’s Name(s): Connor Edwards
Date of Birth: 6.4.2011
Date of Death: 6.4.2011
Baby’s Sex(s): Male
Baby’s Gestation(s): 26+6 weeks
Special Message: We knew for some time that you were not going to make it little man but nothing could prepare us for that day. We love you some much. Thankyou for hanging in there for all those weeks. You got your brother to the finsh line. You gave him the gift of life. Please keep him safe and watch over him. We can see you in the cot with him, he knows you are there thats why he sleeps so peacefully. We love you so much baby Connor.xxoo

_____________________________________

Parent’s Name(s): Tamara and Clinton
Baby’s Name(s): Ethan (Triplet 2)
Date of Birth: 12/03/2011
Date of Death: 09/04/2011
Baby’s Sex(s): Male
Baby’s Gestation(s): 26+4 weeks
Special Message: You left us very suddenly. Not a day goes by where we dont think of you. We know your looking after your brothers and watching and helping Zander through his open heart. Love always your Mummy Daddy Big Brother Emmett Triplet Brothers Connor and Zander Miss you little man. xoxox

_____________________________________

Parent’s Name(s): Jamie-Lee
Baby’s Name(s): Lilie-Anne
Date of Birth: 2nd November 2010 at10:04am
Date of Death: 2nd November 2010 at 2:09pm
Baby’s Sex(s): Female
Baby’s Gestation(s): 23 weeks
Special Message: I am writing this in memory of you. Sadly this is not your real mum. It’s your other mum (your mums best friend). Your mum was only 13 when she had you but you were too early. Your mum & i missed you like crazy but now your mum is with you in heaven after her 16 year battle with an illness.

_____________________________________

Parent’s Name(s): Melissa and Graham
Baby’s Name(s): Zahra Ann
Date of Birth: 18th June 2007
Date of Death: 18th June 2007
Baby’s Sex(s): Female
Weight: 3000 grams & 49cms long
Baby’s Gestation(s): 37 weeks
Special Message: Big sister to Natalie born at 36+2 weeks.

_____________________________________

Parent’s Name(s): Alyssa
Baby’s Name(s): Sienna Marie Jade
Date of Birth: 17-1-2012
Date of Death: 18-1-2012
Baby’s Sex(s): Female
Baby’s Gestation(s): 26+1 weeks
Special Message: Sienna was Jasmines beloved twin sister and our beautiful baby girl. She was born too early at 26+1. She was transferred to another hospital straight after birth and i wasn’t able to see her until the next day. Finally we got up to the hospital by ambulance transport to receive a phone call saying she was ill. We went to her and held her while she passed. Holding mummies finger and catching all her tears. She may not be here but it doesn’t mean she isn’t with us. She lives on in my heart and in Jasmine her Identical twin sister and my precious miracle. One day i believe Sienna will come back to me, this body just wasn’t strong enough for her.

_____________________________________

Parent’s Name(s): Toni and Trent
Baby’s Name(s): Allira Jane Wehrman
Date of Birth: 15/12/2011
Date of Death: 15/12/2011
Baby’s Sex(s): Female
Baby’s Gestation(s): 33 weeks
Special Message: In Mummy and Daddys dreams. Love you Allira

_____________________________________

Please fill out our online form if you would like to leave a special message.

Please contact Yasminah’s Gift of Hope if you would like to seek support & understanding from other families who have been touched by the loss of their precious children.

Members purchase here (paypal) [quickshop:member signprem:price:10:shipping:1.5:shipping2:0.5:item_num:1:end]

___________________________

Members purchase here (paypal) [quickshop:member signprems:price:10:shipping:1.5:shipping2:0.5:item_num:1:end]

]]> http://www.lilaussieprems.com.au/membersig/feed/ 0