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A rant from a Premmie Mum (we can all relate)

October 7, 2007 By Leave a Comment

I think this is something we can all relate to

What is it about premmie babies and advice. As soon as family / friends / crazy lady at Coles find out Malachy is a prem, the advice spews quicker than a Tequila Slammer hangover…

Yes I know that…. he will be behind in his milestones. I fully expect to be dressing him when he’s 18, due to his inability to work zips and buttons. I have the psychiatrist all lined up to deal with the inevitable issues once he gets a girlfriend.

Yes I know that…. he is small. But rumour has it that babies grow so I’m hoping he will one day be bigger than an oompa loompa. If not, there are always stage productions of The Wizard of Oz or Willy Wonka. Or the circus.

Yes I know that…. he is funny looking. I liken him to an undercooked German sausage. Now b*ugger off.

Yes I know that…. him being born early is all my fault. Let me make it easy for you. I smoked. I drank. I took all sorts of illicit drugs. But I really think it was the squeezing toothpaste from the middle of the tube that cinched the deal. And yes, I am joking. Well about the smoking, drinking and drug taking anyway.

Yes I know that…. it’s a shame he came early. Funny thing though. We got into this parenting thingo to come out with live children. So far, we’re two for two. I’d rather him early than not at all.

Yes I know that…. you mean well. But really, be happy for us. Be supportive of us. And love our son the way we love him. Well, we don’t need your love, Crazy Coles Lady. We just need you to respect personal space boundaries.

We could care less how he came out, or what the future holds for him. What we do know is that we have been given a beautiful gift that, each morning, we are thankful for.

Even if that gift is a small, undercooked German sausage who won’t be able to use cutlery when he’s older. And will probably squeeze toothpaste from the middle of the tube.

Filed Under: Parenting, Premature Babies

Poem

October 6, 2007 By Leave a Comment

I think a lot of us with premature babies can relate to this poem by Emily Perl Kingsly

WELCOME TO HOLLAND

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this……

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”

“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills….and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.



Filed Under: Parenting, Premature Babies

Family Living Interstate

September 28, 2007 By Leave a Comment

Soon after we moved from Sydney to Melbourne i fell pregnant with our first baby. Ronan arrived 13 weeks early at 27 weeks gestation weighing 1140 grams. Ronan spent 110 days in hospital due to Chronic Lung Disease, PDA & a Hernia which was operated on 1 week before discharge.

With all my family living in Sydney i found it very hard not having the support of my family around here in Victoria. I spoke to them frequently but it was still tough on days when Ronan had not so good days. I felt a strong desire for them to be part of Ronan’s premmie journey so i created a website dedicated to him, and updated his progress daily. The news and photographs were a great comfort to my family, and an outlet for me during this stressful time.

All of my husbands family live here in Victoria and whilst they were nothing short of fantastic it just wasn’t the same as having my own family here with me. My mum flew down the day i had Ronan and she cried the whole time she was here. It was heartbreaking to see my mother crying over what i felt to be a positive experience considering the circumstances.

I do find it hard now that Ronan is growing up as my family cannot see Ronan on a weekly basis. They cannot see him grow and thrive from the small premature baby he once was to the young toddler that he is today. I still update Ronan’s journal with photographs and entries regarding his progress. My mother looks at his website daily and blows kisses to the computer screen good morning which is beautiful. We are going to Sydney in October for a week and i cannot wait for my family to see how big Ronan has become.

http://www.totsites.com/tot/ronantoivonen

ronan-21211.jpg

Filed Under: Parenting
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