I was advised by my doctor that within a week my baby will be born. I was shocked but very excited as i really had had enough of the pregnancy. I was really uncomfortable and was lucky to be sleeping 3hrs a night due to insomnia. I was told that the reason for the induction was because my white cell count kept going up, my blood pressure was rising each day and i had PPROM (pre term premature rupture of membranes) and had a hind leek.

We arrived at the hospital at 7.00am and had to wait around until 10.30am before i was shown to the birthing suit as they were full of women in labour! I had an internal (which i was so scared of) where they checked that i was 2cms dilated and they broke my waters. My first thought was that there was NO going back now! The feeling was icky and over the course of about 5hrs i kept getting warm gushes of fluid between my legs.

At 11.30am they started the induction drip. They turned up the drip every 30mins and kept monitoring my blood pressure, his heart beat and the contractions. After about 3hrs i asked them to get the epidural organised as i knew it would take at least an hour to organise and the contractions were started to become quite painful. I wasn’t given a drug option with Ronan as it all happened too quick and he was so premmie so i was very happy to be given the choice. The anathesiast (sp?) wiped down my back, placed a plastic cover over my back and started to give me injections in the back that just felt like bee stings, not bad at all. It ended up taking him 3 goes to get the epidural into my back and i still have the bruise to show for it. I was sooo scared having it done as they tell you not to move but how can you not when you have the occasional slight electric shock going through your back? but knowing as well that it was going up into my spine was nerve wracking but we got through it and it worked a treat…. well…….. for 2 hours! After 2 hours i started to feel pain again. The epidural had stopped working on my left side and even though it was topped up 2 times it didn’t work on the left side so i just had to put up with the pain on top of vomiting at each top up..

As the contractions were starting to get stronger his heartbeat kept going down low. It was around the low 80′s so they kept watching it and slowly turned down the drip to give us both a 30min breather. The contractions were still there but they had eased a little bit. They soon turned the drip up again and he was hovering around the 90′s. By this stage i was 7cms dilated. They did a few internals but by this stage he was still quite high up and posterior. The doctor tried to turn him 3 times but each time he turned back around. There is nothing flattering about having a hand inside your hoo-haa turning a baby around!

I was still slowly dilating and in pain and they offered me the gas. I decided that it would only make me more thirsty so opted to just ride it out. After 13hrs i was 8cms dilated and they started talking about giving me a c-section because he was still a little too high and being posterior it was going to be much harder to push him out. After another hour they decided to let me continue because i was progressing so well and they believed that he would eventually come down low enough for me to start pushing. By that stage i was asking to have a c-section because i was so mentally exhausted and didn’t know how i was going to push out a posterior baby. I felt that i had little energy left.

By the 14hr i was fully dilated and the midwife started telling me to push! Wholly crap i thought to myself!

As each contraction came she was there coaching me to push as hard as i could 3 times with each contraction. A few times i could only get in 2 pushes but they were very hard and strong that she wasn’t worried. I held onto the bed which was my leverage and kept pushing. I was having massive mouth fulls of water after every contraction because i was SO SO thirsty. I couldn’t believe how thirsty i had become. As he was moving down the birth canal i started to feel the pressure in my bum. The more he moved down the harder the pressure became. At one stage i asked her if this was normal and of course it was. I didn’t feel this pressure with Ronan so i didn’t have a clue! The pressure kept coming and i felt like my bum was going to split into two. It wasn’t so much as painful it was more so uncomfortable that it was hard to concentrate on pushing.

After 45mins of pushing i started to feel his head crown. This was something that i was not looking forward too as Ronan’s head hurt which was only 25cms at the time and knowing his head was going to be bigger was gahh!! He started to crown and with every push it was 3 steps forward and 1 step back as he would slide a little way back in. I kept pushing with all my might and the good old stinging sensation was well and truly happening. I kept my cool and didn’t scream or cry as i just tried to focus on the pain and the level it was at to get through it. The midwife was coaching me through the whole process telling me when to push, when to slow down (especially when he was crowing) and i received a 1 degree tear, no stitches. One of my biggest fears was having a needle and stitches after the birth and in the end i didn’t need either so i was very relieved.

After a little pushing his head finally popped out. I waited for one more contraction and then pushed the rest of his body out. The pain was over!! They put him straight onto my chest and what a surreal experience. He was warm and i could feel this weight on my chest. I couldn’t believe that it was our son. I was too exhausted to cry but i had a lump in my throat. It was something that we didn’t get to experience with Ronan which is just heartbreaking. I really wish the experience with him was different but i wouldn’t change a thing.

After an hour i sent my mum and Mark home so they could get some sleep. The paed came in and checked Tristan and realised that his breathing was a little laboured. They ummed and arred about whether to send him to SCN and i told them that i was happy for him to go and that it would be best if he did. The nurse expressed 4mls of colostrum from one of my breasts and he was taken to SCN.

After i had a shower and walked around for a bit i was taken to the SCN to see him. He was in a humidicrib with the usual drips on and was being given antibiodics. He had no oxygen on but mainly was just being monitored. He stayed in SCN for almost 2 days and came back to my room for the rest of the time. Because my membranes had ruptured they kept him on antibiodics which was the main reason for our longish stay of 5 days in hospital.

The breastfeeding is going VERY well and i have SO much milk! On day 1 i was hand expressing 4mls from each breast and by day 3 my milk came in. Since being home i can express up to 80mls of milk from 1 breast. I am now only expressing around 30mls for comfort as i am always full and it gets quite sore. He took to breastfeeding like a pro and i feel so comfortable feeding him. The whole thing has been a unique experience for us yet such a normal experience for many people. We feel truly blessed to have such a healthy baby and i have bonded with him in a different way to Ronan. The closeness i feel is just so different to when Ronan was a baby and it’s the bond that mothers always talk about but of course we love them both so very much and just the same..

He is classed as a “premmie” by 1 day but he is full term to me..