I think this is something we can all relate to
What is it about premmie babies and advice. As soon as family / friends / crazy lady at Coles find out Malachy is a prem, the advice spews quicker than a Tequila Slammer hangover…
Yes I know that…. he will be behind in his milestones. I fully expect to be dressing him when he’s 18, due to his inability to work zips and buttons. I have the psychiatrist all lined up to deal with the inevitable issues once he gets a girlfriend.
Yes I know that…. he is small. But rumour has it that babies grow so I’m hoping he will one day be bigger than an oompa loompa. If not, there are always stage productions of The Wizard of Oz or Willy Wonka. Or the circus.
Yes I know that…. he is funny looking. I liken him to an undercooked German sausage. Now b*ugger off.
Yes I know that…. him being born early is all my fault. Let me make it easy for you. I smoked. I drank. I took all sorts of illicit drugs. But I really think it was the squeezing toothpaste from the middle of the tube that cinched the deal. And yes, I am joking. Well about the smoking, drinking and drug taking anyway.
Yes I know that…. it’s a shame he came early. Funny thing though. We got into this parenting thingo to come out with live children. So far, we’re two for two. I’d rather him early than not at all.
Yes I know that…. you mean well. But really, be happy for us. Be supportive of us. And love our son the way we love him. Well, we don’t need your love, Crazy Coles Lady. We just need you to respect personal space boundaries.
We could care less how he came out, or what the future holds for him. What we do know is that we have been given a beautiful gift that, each morning, we are thankful for.
Even if that gift is a small, undercooked German sausage who won’t be able to use cutlery when he’s older. And will probably squeeze toothpaste from the middle of the tube.










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