A rant from a Premmie Mum (we can all relate)

I think this is something we can all relate to

What is it about premmie babies and advice. As soon as family / friends / crazy lady at Coles find out Malachy is a prem, the advice spews quicker than a Tequila Slammer hangover…

Yes I know that…. he will be behind in his milestones. I fully expect to be dressing him when he’s 18, due to his inability to work zips and buttons. I have the psychiatrist all lined up to deal with the inevitable issues once he gets a girlfriend.

Yes I know that…. he is small. But rumour has it that babies grow so I’m hoping he will one day be bigger than an oompa loompa. If not, there are always stage productions of The Wizard of Oz or Willy Wonka. Or the circus.

Yes I know that…. he is funny looking. I liken him to an undercooked German sausage. Now b*ugger off.

Yes I know that…. him being born early is all my fault. Let me make it easy for you. I smoked. I drank. I took all sorts of illicit drugs. But I really think it was the squeezing toothpaste from the middle of the tube that cinched the deal. And yes, I am joking. Well about the smoking, drinking and drug taking anyway.

Yes I know that…. it’s a shame he came early. Funny thing though. We got into this parenting thingo to come out with live children. So far, we’re two for two. I’d rather him early than not at all.

Yes I know that…. you mean well. But really, be happy for us. Be supportive of us. And love our son the way we love him. Well, we don’t need your love, Crazy Coles Lady. We just need you to respect personal space boundaries.

We could care less how he came out, or what the future holds for him. What we do know is that we have been given a beautiful gift that, each morning, we are thankful for.

Even if that gift is a small, undercooked German sausage who won’t be able to use cutlery when he’s older. And will probably squeeze toothpaste from the middle of the tube.

About Our Blog

Welcome to the L’il Aussie Prems Blog.

The L’il Aussie Prems blog is written and maintained by 5 mothers of prematurely born babies.

Here you will find personal stories about real premature babies and their families, their health and developmental milestones, as well as media articles relating to premature babies, information about general parenting and parenting of premature babies, the success of the L’il Aussie Prems website, poems, rants, anecdotes and more…

 

 

Poem

I think a lot of us with premature babies can relate to this poem by Emily Perl Kingsly

WELCOME TO HOLLAND

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this……

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”

“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills….and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.



Help on hand for families with premature babies

A NATIONAL organisation to support families with babies born prematurely was launched last weeks thanks to a dedicated and computer savvy-mum.

Julia Toivonen, 28, of Wantirna, worked solely on the National Premmie Foundation website – www.prembaby.org.au – and finished it last Thursday. The foundation was formed by six groups, including Melbourne’s Lifes Little Treaures, which Mrs Toivonen represents.

She also created the LLT website – www.lifeslittletreasures.org.au - and is in charge of maintaining the sites. She said the NPF would provide valuable support to families across Australia. “NPF will help people form their own support groups, provide information and interesting articles for parents to read, and raise funds for important research.”

Mrs Toivonen said many families caring for children with special needs were not aware that help was available. She knows only too well the difficulties a family faces after her son, Ronan, was born prematurely 18 months ago. He spent 100 days in hospital and had many complications, including chronic lung disease.

Crawling and walking are milestones in a child’s life, but for Ronan each one has proved a challenge. “He can crawl, but he can’t walk without something to hold onto”. The young battler has just started being able to sit comfortably after regular physiotherapy sessions.

Throughout her son’s development, she became motivated to help people in a similar situation and started a group called L’il Aussie Prems eight months ago. She also created a website dedicated to Ronan with pictures and updates on his progress.

He might not be able to walk unaided until he is two, but Mrs Toivonen has learnt to be patient.

Written by Will Wright – The Knox Journal

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Premmies On The Net

Something is wrong i said to my husband Mark, 29 as searing pain ripped through me. “I think the baby is coming”. It was mid March 2006 and i was pregnant with my first child, but at only 27 weeks along we weren’t expecting our bundle of joy just yet. But it didn’t really matter if we were ready or not because the very next morning our son, Ronan, was born prematurely.

Nothing could have prepared us for this sudden arrival… or the length hospital stay that ensued. Poor Ronan spent the next 110 days at Monash Medical Centre in Melbourne with chronic lung disease and other complications. It was a very difficult time for Mark and I. As my family lived in Sydney, I found a lot of our time was taken up calling relatives to keep them updated on Ronan’s progress. I’m going to start a web journal, i said to Mark. That way our family and friends can log on at any time to see how Ronan is doing. I got started and found the process quite therapeutic. www.totsites.com/tot/ronantoivonen

I was a long-time user of the internet. In fact that was how Mark and i met and we’d been together for eight years and married for three. As well as recording Ronan’s day-to-day progress, i began gathering information about premature births. I was shocked to discover there was very little information available for Aussie parents of premmie babies. There were plenty of overseas websites, but the majority of information and links were of no use to Australian parents.

`There’s not enough support for Aussie parents of prems’ i said to Mark after Ronan left hospital. `So i’m going to start a website just for them’. Several months later and i’d created my website, L’il Aussie Prems, at www.lilaussieprems.com.au. I loaded it up with all the information that i’d been searching for when dealing with Ronan’s premature birth. And i must have hit a chord, because it’s become a huge success. The forum has been particularly popular as it allows parents and family members to discuss issues and ask questions. I’ve been working extremely hard to get the word out and i’m so proud that Australian parents of premmie bubs now have a website that’s got all the information they need.

Article from issue #41 – That’s Life Magazine.

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Rethink on breastfeeding, allergy link

TONY EASTELY: Australian researchers say if mothers exclusively breastfeed their babies and there is a family history of allergies, it may actually increase the babies’ chances of developing allergies in later life. The study authors say while breastfeeding has many other benefits, it will not protect children against asthma and allergies in the long-term. But some experts aren’t so convinced and they say the results of the study are inconclusive. Barbara Miller reports.

BARBARA MILLER: The current recommendation is that babies should be exclusively breastfed for six months. One of the most-cited benefits of the breast is best policy is that breastmilk helps protect against allergies.

But researchers from the University of Melbourne, who’ve carried out a longitudinal study on 8,500 people, say that’s not necessarily the case for babies where there’s a family history of allergies. Dr Melanie Matheson from the University’s School of Population Health.

MELANIE MATHESON: We found that breastfeeding in the first three months of life protected against asthma and allergic disease before the age of seven but it no longer protected against those conditions after the age of seven. Our study followed our cohort up until the age of 44 and we found that the risk of asthma and allergic disease continued to increase right up into middle age.

BARBARA MILLER: The researchers say the increased risk is small, but they say their work does call into question the current guidelines on breastfeeding. But some experts say the work is inconclusive. David Thomas is Chair of the Child Youth Health Committee at the Australian Medical Association.

DAVID THOMAS: Their study really needs to examine whether they’ve looked at all other external variables. Allergies later in life can be predisposed to by a number of other environmental impacts which are quite independent of breastfeeding. So, if they’ve found an association, they really need to look at all the other factors ’cause it may or may not be related to breastfeeding.

BARBARA MILLER: That’s a view shared by Dr Andrew Pesce, Clinical Director of Women’s Health at Westmead Hospital in Sydney.

ANDREW PESCE: Children who are exclusively breastfed are often being looked after in the home by their mother. They may have a lower incidence of going to childcare early in life and being exposed to various infections in life. Those infections may challenge the immune system and have effects, both harmful and beneficial possibly, that we don’t fully understand. Hygiene is another thing.

So, you know, there are a whole lot of potential compounding factors which make it really difficult to know what aspect of the breastfeeding and the link to allergies story is breastfeeding alone.

BARBARA MILLER: Do you think that women should change their behaviour based on the results of this study?

ANDREW PESCE: Look no. I think that, you know, this is an incremental addition to the understanding that the researching scientists are giving us and there’s nothing in this information which would make a woman have to think that she has to, you know, change what she’s been doing so far.

TONY EASTELY: Dr Andrew Pesce, Clinical Director of Women’s Health at Westmead Hospital. That report by Barbara Miller.

Transcript from ABC AM radio